Roy Keane makes no sense

Sunderland's manager acted as if he hadn't been in professional soccer for more than 17 years when he remarked that he wouldn't tolerate "abuse" from random fans. In fact, if you take his words at face value, it sounds like he's ready to quit:

The abuse, I know it is part of football, but that is something I won't tolerate.

So, Roy, if you know it's part of the game yet you refuse to accept it, what exactly do you plan to do? My guess: you become a florist. I've never heard of a florist being attacked.

We have so many flowers because it rains all the damn time

Help Roy think of a name for his new endeavor. Leave your idea for his floral shop in the comments.

Opening Whistle 8-29-08

If you've recorded enough games to use this, you better be a blogger. [Clever Football via EPL Talk]

Sunderland fans, please stop using Amy Winehouse lyrics to support your players. [The Northern Echo]

Everton finally jump into the transfer market! Hope their insurance is paid up. [ESPN Soccernet]

Speaking of transfers, James Milner finally gets his escape to Aston Villa. It's only been two years in the making. [The Independent]

If you care at all about soccer in America, read this. Read this now. [This is American Soccer]