September 12, 2008

What they don't want you to know

How does a Premier League shirt sponsor go bankrupt? Federation Soccer has unearthed the conspiracy, and it's not a theory. Here are the facts:

XL Holidays goes bankrupt, owes West Ham £5 million.
Valon Behrami, Swiss international, was recently purchased from Lazio for £5 million.
Behrami's nickname growing up was Pepperami.
Peperami's ads are voiced over by Adrian Edmonson.
Adrian Edmonson performed in a TV series The Comic Strip with Alexei Sayle.
Alexei Sayle joined the Communist Party of Britain in 1968.
The Communist Party of Britain strongly opposes the European Union.

Now it all makes sense! Alexei Sayle, through Adrian Edmonson's influence in popular culture, has undermined XL Holidays at the perfect time, forcing West Ham to return Behrami to reclaim the £5 million. By sending Behrami back, it will begin a domino effect throughout England that will force all Premier League clubs to relinquish their foreign players and return to simpler times where players did not cross boundaries to earn a living. +1, Commies.

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